Camille

How did you find out about your infertility issues?
My husband and I had tried to get pregnant for a little over a year
before we knew something was "wrong." My sister had experience
infertility issues as well and had already gone through IVF. I had
witnessed how long the process was, so I figured I should get a head
start if I felt like something wasn't working.


What are some of the difficulties you’ve had?
After all of the testing on both my husband and I, we found that
nothing was wrong. Ha! I am one of those unlucky people who are
included in the "unexplained infertility" category. This was so
incredibly frustrating because there was no answer! There was no
reason as to why I wasn't pregnant month after month. Sometimes I just
wished something would be noticeably wrong with my body, so that there
would be a more defined path of how to fix it. We started with chlomid
and femara. After that I had 3 failed IUI's before finally starting
IVF. This was it! It would work! The IVF round was incredibly hard on
my body. My body overstimulates to all of the medication and it's so
painful. I had a few cysts, one that ruptured. It all was just so
hard. Nothing was as hard, however, as receiving that call that IVF
did not work. Luckily I had 2 extra eggs, so the next month I started
the FET (frozen transfer) process. My body handled this so much better
and we found out we were pregnant with twins! We could not have been
more grateful for these miracle babies. Once they got to be about 3
and we were ready for another baby, I knew we would have to pursue the
same path. We had to do another fresh transfer, and sure enough, I
overstimulated and the transfer did not work. A few months later I
went in for my 4th IVF transfer and had another FET. My miracle baby
#3, baby Sam, is now 6 months and such a blessing to our family.


How have they impacted you? Your family?
Now that I am on the tail-end of my infertility journey, I can
strangely say I am somewhat grateful for my experiences and
difficulties. In the moment it was SO SO SO HARD. I think I felt every
emotion on the planet. But now, hindsight is 20/20 and my outlook on
motherhood is completely different. We worked so hard for these
babies, and in those tough motherhood moments I remember that this is
exactly what I wanted, what I worked so hard to obtain. While I'm
still not perfect at it, I'd like to think I am a more patient mother
than I would have been had I not gone through that experience. I've
also learned so much about compassion and empathy for others that are
struggling with a variety of life trials. I try to be that person for
others that I needed in my life at that time - I'm so grateful for
those that were willing to talk when I wanted to talk, NOT talk about
it if I didn't feel like talking, let me vent at all hours of the day,
release frustration, cry with, eat my feelings, etc. The people in my
life carried me through that time of my life, and I truly hope I can
do the same for others that might be experiencing the same kind of
heart break.


What do you wish people understood about infertility?
Infertility is all consuming. Aside from the obvious monthly cycles
and constantly hoping for a positive pregnancy test, it consumes your
thoughts of every day. Planning for the future is hard. Should we go
on that trip? What if I happen to get pregnant? I shouldn't hold off
on life plans IN CASE I'm pregnant! Oh, she's pregnant again? I really
am happy for her, but it's just hard to feel that right now. How do
people just get pregnant?! Why can't it ever work for me? Why does
getting pregnant need to involve so many needles and poking and
prodding? These thoughts, and so many more, consume everything. Those
who are struggling through infertility will most likely go through
every emotion - confusion, frustration, anger, bitterness, optimism,
sadness and hopefully at some point, arriving at feeling of peace. It
might take a while, but hopefully that peace will come, because as I
can now confidently say, somehow, someway, it will work out.


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